Coffee Part 3

I stood up and went over to the window, my mind racing. It was surreal watching people in the street below going about their everyday business as I died by inches no more than a couple of hundred feet away.

I looked at the windows of the buildings opposite, trying to find someone watching, something that didn't fit somehow. I saw nothing but reflections and shadows.

I sat down again and slid a letter opener from the stationery carousel on my desk. One edge was dull but the other was sharper and serrated; perhaps it would do the trick, I thought.

Disgusted with myself I put the opener back into the caddy and raked sweaty hair back from my brow, my hand trembling.

This had to be some kind of obscene joke, didn't it? Some kind of test? 

But what if it wasn't?

I glanced across at my oblivous co-worker. She was leaning forwards in her chair, lips pursed in concentration. In her glasses I could faintly see the reflection of a spreadsheet.

I didn't know I was going to do it until I was standing up, the letter opener suddenly in my hand again.